The prospect of relocating to a different place to live, work or run a business can be a daunting thought for most. For a child, though, it could mean a lot of things. From an exhilaration of moving to a different place, to an apprehension of being taken away from one’s comfort zone, to a complete reluctance to leave their social bearings behind. Any which way, the children need to be handled sensitively, paid in this period of transition. It is often the attitude of the parents which determines whether the experience of this magnitude is traumatic or one which the child takes pleasure in. Often it is the enthusiasm of the parents, to let the child be involved in the process, which influences their feelings. Here are a few things which you can try to make things easier for you.
Maintain a positive attitude – often the decision to move may not be in your hands. Your job requirement or life status may compel you to shift base. Cribbing about what lies ahead will leave a negative impact on the child who might be looking for reassurance himself/herself. Having a discussion with them about the impending change instills confidence in them and makes them feel part of the process.
Provide Information – to make the children aware of what lies ahead in terms of the prospective schools, activities, weather conditions etc is comforting. Maybe a small trip to that place will give them a low down on what to expect. The advance trip may not be possible if one is relocating abroad, in such cases internet comes in handy.
Involve them in packing their belongings – ownership of what to pack and what not to, helps build their confidence. Involving them in taking their opinion on what to pack and what to discard makes them feel responsible. Smaller children may need to be explained that their favorite toys are being kept safe and are not being thrown away. It is a nice time to explain to them the benefits of removing the clutter from time to time, to do away with the unimportant things from time to time.
Help them say good bye – organise a farewell party for friends. Get a scrap book let the friends fill in what they feel about him/her. Such things help build memories and anecdotes. Ask for phone numbers and email ids so that they can stay connected. Saying goodbye helps them accept and deal with changes in their lives.
Show them around – once settled, it is a good thing to show them around the city/town. It will help them familiarize with the city, they are going to call home from now on. Ask them to invite one of his new friends for the trip, for seeing the surroundings and the landmarks through the eyes of someone his/her age gives them their own perspective of things they see.
Assist in studies – a new school means new teachers, new mates, new set of expectations in all. It is important to take the child in confidence before finalizing the school. Make sure that the curriculum is similar to what was previously followed. Meeting the teacher regularly helps in understanding and reassuring the child of the challenges that lie ahead.
Each child will have a different way of adapting to the change that is about to happen or has happened already. It is necessary to be aware of the fact that every different age group will require a different level of support during the move. It is only fair to expect some children to be a little upset about the move and some to even blame you for having brought upon them, all the burden. Hence patience and calmness is a virtue one must be armed with to deal with the myriad emotions of one’s child/children.
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